Iona House Ministry Highlight: Ministering to Families with Young Children

Last weekend our family spent several days with seven other families (from the Bay Area) who came up to visit Placerville / Iona House who are in our exact same season of life (married with small children). It was quite the weekend: 16 adults + 15 children all under the age of 7!!! The weekend was sort of a “beta” version of a retreat experience that we have been imagining. It was a great weekend filled with joy and lots of what you’d expect with small children. There were structured activities, times of worship, lots of family fun and adventure. One of the highlights was the evenings together with the adults (after kids had gone to sleep). It was strangely comforting to hear everyone share their struggles (and joys) about the same things.

This past weekend crystalized for us what we had already been intuiting: people in our season of life have particular spiritual needs. Parents in our situation do not get much solitude and silence. Spiritual disciplines are especially difficult. We’re tired and we long for a sustainable rhythm. At the same time we long for adventure. But the idea of a vacation with small kids often sounds more exhausting than restful.

Hopes and dreams: If you’re like us, you long for your kids to have deep, formative, spiritual experiences that will shape them as Christians for the rest of their lives. But church can feel like one of the most challenging times of the week. Bedtime worship routines can be great… or a total meltdown disaster depending on the night and the exhaustion level of the kids (and parents).

The more we’ve thought about it, the more we’ve come to believe that Iona House is well-suited to minister to folks in our situation. Our vision has been marinating around this question: What might it look like to uniquely minister to young families at Iona House?

THREE CORE IDEAS:

Family Spiritual Formation Retreats - We would offer unique family retreats designed to give both children and parents a deep, faith-inspiring experience of God’s goodness in a rhythm that is sustainable for everyone. The kids would get to experience the adventure of agricultural / farm activities (interactions with animals such as chickens and goats; learning about planting and growing things in the children’s garden; nature hikes, etc.) and connect these activities to spiritual truths and practices. Parents would get to experience many of the same activities alongside their children, while also being given support and freedom to go off and spend time in much needed solitude and silence or meeting with a spiritual director (for example). Meals would be family-friendly, healthy/local (made from our own gardens!), and delicious. There would be a rhythm to each day that orients life toward worship of God. Children would learn about contemplative forms of spirituality (as opposed to, perhaps, the hyped up, loud, and rambunctious types of experiences we often think of as children’s ministry). There would be adventure, discovery, and wonder - hands-on learning in God’s great creation. There would be practical teaching for parents about raising children as Christians (in an increasingly secular, post-Christian culture) and realistic guidance on how to be spiritually formed as adults through this unique season of life. Evenings would include times of worship and teaching for adults along with much desired adult social time with those in a similar season of life… and hopefully lots of sleep! The overall pace would be one that is designed in order to not add to people’s existing exhaustion. To this end, during these retreats we would offer additional staffing support with safe, background-checked, experienced staff members who are able to assist with kids and families. We would offer these retreats perhaps 4-8 times a year at times especially advantageous for family travel. Structured retreats would be 3-5 days in length - long enough to get into a rhythm, but not so long as to be inaccessible for those with work and full schedules.

A space for families year-round - We have also envisioned the campus of Iona House such that there is a part of the campus that is designed with families in mind and available for self-directed family retreats year-round. This is a place that a single family or a group of families could come up together and could experience a place of renewal and formation. It is a space where kids can be kids without disrupting adults doing retreats with contemplative practices seeking silence and solitude. Staff could be available to assist parents with activities designed for multi-generational spiritual formation. While this isn’t the full-scale structured retreat mentioned above, it might be exactly the low-key thing that many families need.

A space for parents to find spiritual renewal without their children - We have also envisioned the campus of Iona House as a place for adults to come and experience formation, healing, restoration, deep silence, rest, and solitude without their children. This might be a place where one parent at a time can get a 1-5 day spiritual retreat. We have hermitages (fully self-sufficient 250 sq ft cottages) designed for individual self-directed silent retreats as well as ongoing, repeated, structured, guided retreats along the themes of formation, contemplation, and restoration designed for adults. We see this as an important part of supporting parents in their goal of growing as disciples who can disciple their own children.

We can see benefits to all three of the above. There may be other ideas that emerge as well. All we know is that Iona House needs to be a place for Christian formation for families with small children. Pray with us that God will guide us into a full expression of this vision!